Puteri Turkey

Hye assalammualaikum. So I just got back from Germany on Friday around 19:00. And if you don't know, that's when Malaysian people could smell freedom by then. To be honest, I don't know where to start.

Actually, I wasn't really in a relationship before. We wouldn't call it relationship because of certain reasons but I advise you to stay or leave because this post is gonna be one hellaaaa long one. This is just me, letting it all out on my pathetic blog.

I'm actually not the type of person who would update their statuses about break-ups and such, and especially on blogs. Ada tu ada, but it's not about break-up and itu pun dekat blog lama. So senang kata ni kali pertama cakap pasal benda-benda ni dekat blog baru.

To avoid him feeling guilty or whatever, I'll just call him S. Ok macamlah dia baca blog aku ni hmmmm. So it started last year, time Malaysia cuti, December. This guy added me, S. He goes to the same school with my "friend." And I don't know what made me tegur him first, like seriously. Posted on his wall "Thanks :)" with a smiley face tuuu. And S replied "Welcome." At that moment I was like "Eh no smiley face? Sombong gilaaaaaaa." AND YES MACAM PRETTY NORMAL LAH IN MALAYSIA TO HAVE CINTA MUKA BUKU SO DON'T BE SURPRISE.

And yet again couple days after that, aku tegur lagi I mean like WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME KENAPA HATI AKU BAIK SANGAT NAK TEGUR DIA..And from that moment on, tetiba rapat semacam. As days past by, I just realized that aku actually suka diaa. We moved to skype after that and started to video call and stuff. First time dengar dia gelak..OHMYGOD SO COMEL I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING. Pastu ada sekali tu dekat FB terkantoi yang dia suka aku jugak. But actually dia yang suka aku dulu ok perasan semacam lol because I can pretty much tell from the way he talk to me. Boleh kata tiap-tiap hari skype, yelahhh Malaysia kan cuti time tuu.

We were moving pretty fast I must sayy and we weren't officialy in a relationship. We just liked each other but the way we treat each other is kinda..idk.

I really miss those skype talk we had, how we already planned to do this and that once I get back to Malaysia which is pretty soon. But you know.. stupid me, I asked him stupid questions sometimes and one of them was on my birthday. March 11th. Stupidest mistake I've ever made and I really wish I could take it back. I asked him "Hmm tak sayang kita dah? :("

And he replied "Sayang tu memang lah sayang, tapi takut hati I berubah and yours too."

AT THAT MOMENT I PRETTY MUCH CRIED DAH LAH TIME TU PERGI KELUAR MAKAN DENGAN FAMILY SO AKU COVER HABIS.

I was confused from the way he told me. And lepastu, he deactivated his account because of SPM I guess. So for 2 months I waited, just to make sure that I didn't get it the wrong way. 27th May, he reactivated his account and so I decided to "ask him a question" or you can say a paragraph. I asked why he deactivated, and how much I missed him terribly and his laugh especially.

And he replied "Why can't we just be friends? Not more than that."

And some other things like "Jodoh dan pertemuan, semua Allah tentukan. Kita sebagai manusia hanya mampu merancang."

I read that message lepas sembahyang subuh, atas katil, menangis melalak, mata pun dah bengkak.

I didn't know that it would be like this, broken heart. Twice. And it's my first time. Dulu tu ada, but just suka-suka jeee, pastu tak contact dah. But with S, he's..different. Mula-mula kenal, I had no idea that we would be like this, and then this. It's so funny how we planned all the stuffs that we're gonna do once I get back to Malaysia, like for example dia datang KL duduk dengan uncle dia selepas SPM, dating dekat The Mines, skype time raya. All of them are just..nothing now.

P : So you're saying dah jumpa orang lain?

S : Dalam erti kata lain, single but not available.

Lagi bertambah menangis aku because clearly S dah jumpa orang baru. So I just had to suck it up and give him that "I hope you'll fine someone better than me.." speech kinda thing.

And what he replied after that was he actually wanted to be friends. But what's going through my mind was "How can we just be friends after all this? I mean like susahh and awkward. Bukannya taknak but hati ni belum siada lagi. I need to settle down a bit. Bagi beberapa bulan. Or maybe tahun.."

That's my pathetic love story. I still love him and I know I'm not the only who have experienced this.

Dear S, I hope that girl is what you've been looking for. I'm sorry if I ever hurt you and thank you so much for everything. You've taught me alot and I have changed since I met you. I wish you the best for SPM and pleaaasseeeeee tolong jangan merempit dah. Eventhough we've been together tak lama langsung but I've enjoyed every moment of it. Sorry kalau terlebih emotional and kuat merajuk. I know you hated it. But anywayss, take good care of yourself and jaga adik awak yang comel tuu elok-elok. ♥

P : Eh tipuuuuuuu kata taknak on skype dah sebab busy sangat study :(
S : Hmm teringat
P: Huh? Teringat dekat apaa?
S : Puteri Nur 'Amirah binti Abu Sufian :')

Hye assalamualaikum people hekhek prom sudah pun selesaii wuwuwu my last prom in Ankara, Turkey. K mulanya macam ni, err so y'know for prom ni nak lah special sikit kannnn nak bermakeup bagaii and since ;

1. I hate wearing makeup
2. Don't have any makeup stuff in my house
3. I don't know how to apply them on my face

All of these led to pergi kedai buat makeup hahah and the actual prom day baru kulu kilehh sejam carik tempat buat makeup. Prom starts at 19:00 May 12th so I planned to come at 20:00 hahah bertolak drpd rumah pukul 18:00, carik tempat makeup dah sejam. Buat makeup dah setengah jam. Patu aku plan dari dulu dah kononnya nak buat ala-ala photo shoot kat garden luar rumah enn but then dah gelap patu hujan so macam dissapointed gila ahh.

Before bertolak pergi makeup punya tempat.

TADAAA VOILA K TAKDA LAH LAIN SANGAT HAHAH

It took about 10 min jee nak pergi tempatnyaa, Hilton Hotel gituuu. Sampai je, ada cikgu ni bawak aku naik lif apa semua and she said "I think you're the last one." Muka aku terus cenggini

Like seriously, aku fikir org lain datang lambat jugakk sebab y'know, tak cool ah datang awal bhahah. Pastu she was like "Oh don't worry, you'll make a grand entrance." Aku pun sengih-sengih je lahh hahah so after that dah sampai ke tingkatnya, check ticket patu aku masuk tempat tu kan kan ~~ALL EYES WERE ON ME~~ most of the people were dancing but some were just sitting around. PATU ADA YANG TENGAH DOK SEBOK MENARI LAH KAN TETIBA DATANG SERBU AKU MACAM APE AND THEY WERE LIKE "OMG YOU LOOK SO PRETTY!"

Serious aku ckp time tu rasa macam artist semacam heh heh. Even the pretty ones said that to me. Lagi lah muka aku terkejut semacam I mean like Hello? You people lagi lawa k.

Masuk je terus bergambar dengan Kathy. Dia ni budak baru and aku orang pertama ckp dengan dia on her first day serious aku cakap lawa gila nak mampuih dia ni dengan dress and rambut cenggitu asgdkjlh;gajakjfdh

AYGERIM AND SHAHIDA MY GIRLSSSSS AHH DORANG PUN LAWA TAK ACI

K notice anything about the pictures? Yes, slow dance. As usual, ~~ramai gila lelaki mintak slow dance dengan aku~~ aku duduk dekat corner sorang-sorang forever alone habeh.

Bila nak habis dah, they announced the prom prince, princess, queen, and king. And no jangan tanya kenapa aku tak menang bhahah sebab umur tak cukup lagi lahh. Kalau tahun depan boleh vote gua as prom princess but al-maklum lah saya sudah berasa di Malaysia at that time hikhik.